


Interludes to the life of undead

by arlesanna



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6252043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlesanna/pseuds/arlesanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Caryl one-offs inspired by the series.<br/>Chapter 1 - "Soon" - set post 6x13 -  Carol's date with Tobin goes awry as it should and Carol makes some decisions as she should.<br/>Chapter 2 - "Choices" - set post 6x14 - Carol made her choices, now it's time for Daryl to make his</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soon

**Author's Note:**

> Set Post 6x13

**Soon**

 A knock on the door interrupted her staring into nothing from the couch. Reluctantly she stood up, the rosary tight around her wrist. Minding her bandaged hand Carol opened the door carefully.

“Hello,” Tobin greeted her somewhat awkwardly.

A weak smile was all that she could muster, but that seemed to work.

“Hi Tobin.” Carol looked at him expectantly without opening the door wider or making a step toward him.

“I…” He stuttered a bit. “I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner.” His nervousness was obvious and it would be endearing if Carol could care for that kind of thing even for a second. He seemed to notice her empty gaze. “I will cook for once. They say my lasagna is pretty good.”

“Ok.” She said wondering where the hell that came from.

“Tonight at my place?"

“Fine.” She repeated hoping for him to leave her alone at last.

Tobin smiled happily. “Are you ok?” He asked, eyeing her attentively.

“Sure.” A fake smile blossomed on her face as he finally left and she closed the door.

Perfect. Fucking perfect.

 

* * *

 

 

She looked in the mirror appreciatively. Maybe the dress was too much. Well, it certainly was too much. She’d found it in the closet a while back and tried it on on a whim - turned out the sleek red thing fit her like a glove. She didn’t think she’d ever get a chance to wear it though. It wasn’t like this chance was now, but here she was, wearing the dress and checking herself out. If there was one thing about the brave new world Carol actually liked it was the changes to her body. She loved how toned and slim she’d become - she could never boast a well-shaped figure, but now she was damn near perfect.

“Well maybe turning into a killing machine with a double digit headcount was a bit too much of a price.” She murmured to herself and winced. It was too early, too raw. She was too raw. She stroked the rosary wrapped around her wrist like a bracelet and went on to change the bandage on her hand.

 

* * *

 

“Wow. Just…” Tobin’s face lit up as he looked her up and down. “Wow.”

“Well are you going to let me in?” Carol smiled, enjoying the effect. He wasn’t her man of choice per say but he was sweet enough and it’s been a while since she had a man drooling over her. A while as in she couldn’t really remember the last time it happened.

“Sure.” He stepped aside hurriedly. “Welcome. I’m sorry. I’m just… Wow”

“Good thing I decided against high heels.” She passed into the cozy living room. “You’d probably drop dead and I’d have to have dinner with a walker.”

Tobin let out a weak laugh, eyeing her. “Definitely.”

Carol waited while he fussed and showed her to the table, set with candles and wine glasses. Inwardly she cursed at the reception of her joke. It was fucking funny. Had she said it to Daryl he’d probably give her the well-known embarrassed shrug and say “Stop” and she’d be pleased with herself and all happy inside. She was not amused now.

Tobin offered her wine and took the lasagna out of the oven.

“I hope you’re hungry. I might have over advertised it trying to lure you here.” He was charming enough. Probably. Carol tried to react normally, but this thing was proving to be harder then she expected.

“What happened to your hand?” He asked and her insides turned cold. All of it flashed before her eyes in an instant: the freezing floor of the room they were kept in. The searing pain from her body being kicked around by an angry motherfucker. The unsettling fear for Maggie and her child. The need to do something, to figure it out, to play the situation right. The horrible way she had to use her daughter’s memory. The dead woman on the floor. The dead woman who’d had four children before the world went to shit. Daryl’s fingers on her chin and his smell enveloping her. The shock of the man being killed by Rick in cold blood, the pain in her hand she didn’t feel until much later.

“Carol? Are you ok?” Tobin’s eyes were worried and she snapped out of her reverie.

“Yes…” she tried to even her breathing. “I’m sorry.” She smiled as if laughing at herself. “It’s not important.”

“Ok.” The silence was turning awkward.

“It’s good.” She praised the lasagna. She couldn’t really focus on the taste at the moment, but she could see he put in the effort.

“Well I’m glad you like it.” Tobin said and looked at her wrist. “So this is new.”

She gulped at her wine, praying that he wouldn't ask about the rosary.

“Does it help you through it? The faith?” He asked carefully and Carol couldn’t take it anymore. The whole situation was bizarre. This unsuspecting man had cooked dinner for her and was asking her about her faith while she was close to a mass murderer. It was almost funny to her - if he could only enter her mind for a second he’d be shocked out of his own. He had no idea. No idea.

“I don’t think I can do this.” She got up abruptly.

“So the lasagna wasn’t good after all” Tobin attempted a joke, but she didn’t have it in her to play into it so his words crumbled around them miserably.

She sighed. “I should go.”

“I’m sorry if I did or said something wrong…”

“It’s not you.” She cut him off abruptly. “Really.” Her tone was dead serious and he nodded. “I just… have to go.”

“Could I walk you home?” He wasn’t losing hope. Carol knew she should just shut him down, but she shrugged instead.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The air was chilly around them as they walked down the street. To a stranger’s eye they’d look quite fetching - Tobin had cleaned up quite nicely, dressed in dark blue jeans and a formal jacket with a light blue shirt. Carol in a tight red dress and light sandals, her figure accentuated and her cleavage low. If it wasn’t for a stark white bandage on her arm and the fact that they were walking next to each other, but not together, they could be mistaken for a normal couple indeed.

 

* * *

 

“I understand if you’re not ready yet.” He said in a soft tone. The tone and the words made her cringe. That didn't show of course. “I could wait.” He continued when she didn’t say anything as they walked on. “I will wait.”

“No.” She said as they reached her house. Reaching out for his shoulder she looked him in the eye for the first time that evening. “Don’t,” she said, trying to send the signal with everything she had.

She turned to leave when he stopped her.

“What if I want to?” He looked at her with hope and all she felt was pity. She wasn’t sure who the pity was for though.

“Don’t you get it.” She whispered. “There’s nothing to wait for.”

He tried to say something, but she stopped him with a shake of her head, backing off onto the porch.

He left, then.

She watched him go, hidden in the darkness. She felt like with him it all went. The whole life she imagined for herself here, the whole idea of it. Just leaving quietly into the night, sad with the lack of understanding of why this strange woman with haunted eyes would reject it so fully, so irreversibly. Disappearing from view like it was never there at all. Carol watched it go and she knew she didn’t need to say her goodbyes. She felt free for the first time since she entered that damn gate. She could finally breathe.

She jumped as she felt something warm being wrapped over her shoulders.

“It’s cold.” Daryl’s voice calmed her down. She never heard him approach and she never anticipated his hands to linger on her shoulders.

She reached out for his hand then, brave and drunk with the newfound freedom. His fingers were warm and familiar, she’d held his hand many times over the years, but it was never this deliberate. She could feel his warmth behind her, she knew that a little step back and she’d be pressed fully against his strong form, in the arms of a new kind of life. The real one. Hers.

“ _Not yet. Soon.”_ She thought and didn’t make a move.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post 6x14  
> Carol made her choices, now it's time for Daryl to make his

 

**Choices**

 

“What?! Gimme that!” Daryl snatched the note from Rick’s hands and ran it over. “The hell?”

Rick sighed, “Daryl, we need to be reasonable here…”

Within seconds the other man was on his feet, the now rugged paper dangling from his fingers. “You call this shit reasonable?” 

“We need to…”

“Fuck that. I gotta find her.”

He was already on the porch when Rick’s iron grip met his elbow. “No one is going anywhere,” the leader growled at him. 

“Yeah? You wanna try and stop me?” Their eyes met and finally Rick had to lower his gaze. The man was in his right. 

“She did.” He finally said, his voice quieter now, trying to get through to Daryl who looked like a wounded animal at that point. “She said - don’t come after me please.” He took a pause then, reluctant to use his last argument, but looking at Daryl’s stubborn posture Rick knew he had to. “It was meant for you.” He finished, knowing those five words would hurt Daryl more than the events that had already transpired. He had to try though.

Daryl tore his arm away from Rick’s grip, his movements abrupt, bristling up even more within seconds. “I know,” he spat. 

Next thing Rick knew he was speeding out of the gate.

 

* * *

 

 

“I don’t want you here” was the first thing she told him when he finally caught up with her two days later. She didn’t even go far - he searched for her all over and was quite pissed to bump into her in close vicinity of Alexandria. Like she has actually hoped he wouldn’t go after her - didn’t even put in an effort to get as far away as possible. That made him angrier.

“Why?” He hopped of his bike and was now looming over her form. She was sitting by a small fire she had set up, her face lit by the flames as the day was beginning to fade away. He sat down next to her when she didn’t answer. This was good. She was there. Well, maybe she was not really there but at least physically she was present. He’d found her. Again.

Carol stared on into the flames, lost in them and probably in her own mind. When she finally spoke Daryl almost missed it - the words were quiet, but weighed a lot, at least that was the way if felt as she let them out.

“Everything has a price now.” She said. “Safety. Love. Freedom. Life.” Her eyes shot up to meet his and Daryl almost shuddered at the darkness that faced him. Maybe it was just the darkness creeping up on them. “It’s not free anymore.”

Daryl’s mind was in overdrive. He knew that this had to be handled with utmost care, that wrong words would send her running for the hills all over again. He also knew he was the worst man for the job - words weren’t his thing. However it was about Carol so he was willing to try.

“Was it ever?” He went for an open question, hoping she would give him more to go by, to hold on to.

“Yes.” A pause.  “No.” Another.  “It doesn’t matter. I’m all out of cash” Carol’s smirk was like a ghost on her lips, never reaching her eyes. “It’s too high. The price. What you said that day. That you should have killed the people you saved.” She was looking him in the eye again as Daryl fought to keep his expression neutral. This was about her, not about his regrets. “You were right. I know it. You know it. But it’s wrong, we also know that. That’s just the thing - wrong is right now. And that’s the price we pay. But I can’t anymore. I won’t.” 

“You think this is a choice?” Daryl tried to speak softly, but the anger that’d been bubbling inside since he saw the note on a shiny morning two days ago wouldn’t let him. “You think you can just walk away? That an option?” Her looking away only spurred him on in spite of his best judgement. “You think you can get clean now? Don’t have anyone so you won’t have to kill? That’s bullshit.” He kicked the nearest log, cursing inwardly. She was still silent, her shoulders tense - he knew he was just making things worse. Daryl took a deep breath. “How long before you run into people? Huh? How long before they try to kill you, rob you or eat you? How long before you have to kill again? This world ain’t clean anymore. But we have to live in it.”

“How?” her question came out as a half-sob and Daryl found that his own breath was caught in his throat.

“Dunno.” He mumbled, saddened by his own lack of perspective. He really didn’t know, couldn't offer any comfort for her if she believed loving people was making things worse. People. Love. Family. Those were the answers to her question but she wouldn’t have them. He didn’t have anything else. “I think you’re right though.” He admitted, half-hating himself for it.

“About what?” She fished a couple of oatmeal bars out of her backpack and handed now two him “Got lucky in a supermarket.”

“Alexandria.” Daryl paused, reluctant to say it out loud. He knew he had to. “That’s what we were all looking for. No one thought that once we find it we’d be in a new kind of hell. Have to fight for it against the whole world every day.”

“The price is too high.” She echoed her words from earlier, biting into her bar. “It’s already cost us turning into killers for hire. What’s next? Is there a limit to what we would do? To what I would do? I don’t want to find out, Daryl.”

“I know. Said you’re right, didn’t I?” He huffed, shivering in the chilly evening air. “We should find shelter for the night.”

“You should go back. You still have time before nightfall.” There it was again, her actively not looking at him. 

“That’s why you were so close to home then? Knew I’d come for you.”

“You almost always have before.” Carol smiled weakly at him. “But now I…” He could tell she was fighting back tears. “Our paths are separate now. I’m choosing something. That’s what Maggie said about the baby. She’s choosing something. I am too. I am choosing this.”

He knew instantly what she meant. She was choosing the life they had all dreamed of escaping, having found the perfect escape in Alexandria. She was choosing the life on the road, the uncertain nights, uneven meals, coldness and fear. She was choosing survival. And if it called for killing someone so be it, but it would be for life, not for walls, warmth, food or safety. Not because someone was stupid or someone made the call. That was the only price she was willing to pay.

“Fine by me. Do we have to choose sleeping outside or could we try to not freeze our asses off?” 

Her eyes were huge and the emotion in them could have melted his heart if that hadn’t happened years ago when he first got to know her. “Daryl?” She sounded like she was hopeful against her will and he shrugged.

“Told ya you were right. I was out most of the time anyway, a case of cabin fever I guess. So…” Daryl got up abruptly, shaking off the dirt from his pants and picking up his backpack, looking busy.

As usual he was trying to minimise the true extent of his actions by pretending it wasn’t a big deal, but Carol knew otherwise. She didn't try to argue with his decision though - when Daryl made up his mind it was for good and she knew him well enough to respect that.

“There’s a house behind those bushes.” She picked up her own backpack and helped Daryl put out the fire. “It’s quite small though so we might have to share a bed. At least I hope so.” She winked at him and smiled sincerely for the first time in months when he snorted:

“Stop.”

Things were good. Well… better.

 

* * *

 

The cabin was indeed small and they did have to share a bed. It wasn’t as much fun as Carol could have imagined - Daryl was short with her throughout the whole settling down phase. He snapped at her for twisting and turning, then turned his back on her completely. Carol let her fingers run over his shoulder when she asked the question that had been on her mind that whole time.

“What about the group?”

“They can handle themselves.” He grumbled, “And it’s not like we can never visit. Sleep. And stop that.”

She realised she was still running lazy circles on his shoulder and jerked her hand back.  “They’re your family.” She whispered and he surprised her by turning around and facing her. It was dark, but she could feel his intense stare.

“Nah. You are.” 

Carol gulped, the moment laced with tension, thrilling and terrifying at the same time. 

“They are like annoying relatives we put up with.” He added and she guessed he was smirking in the dark. “Now sleep.”

With that a strong arm sneaked around her waist, pulling her closer as if it was meant to be from the start. If it wasn’t it should have been meant to be from the start because they fit perfectly. Her head found sanctuary against his shoulder, her arm found peace on his half-sleeping form and Carol worried momentarily if this new thing would cost her too much, if in the end she had ran away from Alexandria only to run into something even more priceless then what she was trying to escape in the first place. But then Daryl’s breath felt warm against her hair and his fingers twitched against her hip and she knew that this was not something she could ever give up as long as she was alive.

“Maybe… If you feel like it we could try saving some people. Like I did with Aaron. Would give us a chance to visit.” Daryl whispered against her hair and Carol knew he only said it out loud because he believed her asleep already. She considered letting him get away with it and feigning sleep. She really did. But that was who he was. They were most definitely stuck with that. That made Carol really, truly, unbelievably happy.

“Maybe.” She whispered back and her lips found his in the dark lightly. 

 

 

 

 


End file.
